Tuesday, June 30, 2009


I have been doing a lot of thinking lately probably too much thinking I am making myself a little nervous, discouraged, scared, doubtful all those things you don't want to embody. I have been thinking...
How I am going to go back to work after having a baby.

What this basketball season is going to be like with a newborn. Along with always having Chris GONE and TIRED.

If I lose my job (which I might) how am I going to meet the needs of not 2 but 3 people.

How we have no idea where we will be or what we will be doing this time next year.

I have been thinking about having a baby. (period)

I have been obsessed with how much I miss my DADDY and wonder what great advise and guidance he would give me at this stage in my life.

I have been thinking about Chris and how hard he works EVERYDAY!!

I have been thinking about my scriptures and prayer and how I DON'T rely on them enough.

I have been thinking about my relationships with my friends and family and how badly I want them to be better, closer, more intimate.

The list goes on and on and on perhaps at night it's better if Chris just tickles my back so I fall right asleep instead of staying up thinking....thinking...and thinking...


KaSs MiLeS said...

you're right. you've been thinking way too much. :0) its hard dealing with the unknown, but just know that everything can and will work out exactly how its supposed to be and everything will be alright. as far as the giving birth, its not as bad as you think. it goes by so so fast. just remember, its only one day.
i'm positive that everyone would be glad to be closer to you, you have a sweet spirit!
I think what you need is a bubble bath! :) good luck ash.

Dana Dastrup said...

Ash I love you!! Everything is going to work out PERFECTLY and I know without a doubt that you are going to be an AMAZING mom!!

And you can call me anytime to wash your little princess!!

{lindy baker cakes} said...

Ash. I'm the queen of worry! However, one thing that Matt & I keep saying lately is "we'll cross that bridge when we get there." Its so hard not knowing how your future is going to turn out. It's scary. You're doing what's right and you'll be taken care of even if it takes a trial that you have to overcome.
I'm sorry about you missing your dad. I can't imagine how hard that probably is for you. He is closer than you think and he is helping you more than you think.
As for wishing you were closer to friends...I miss my blondie friend. Know that I'm here for you and I love you! You're going to be alright.

Gabe & Melissa said...

Hang in there Ash! I think I would worry about all of those same things too, I hate the unknown, but like Kass said things always seem to work out and you will probably look back and wonder why you were so worried. I promise things will work out. You will be such a cute mom, and know that I am here to help you before and after you have the baby any time. I'm excited for when she comes, Love you Ash call me If you need anything!!

liz your big sis said...

everything you are feeling is totally natural.
love what lindy said about the bridge... and as you can see there are lots of people that love you and are here for you!

love you so much!