Monday, January 16, 2012

Fighting but not the tears

I did a post about being true to my feelings it was mostly about not being ashamed or embarrassed to cry. If something touches me enough to tears I made myself a promise that I could let them freely drop without being insecure or worrying about people judging me.

Yesterday I cried while sitting in primary, the kids started singing "I love to see the temple." I love that song. It was one of the songs and still is that I sing to Taimi to calm her down or to get her to sleep.

Living here in Germany we walk, we walk a lot.
One day I was foolish and didn't dress warm enough for the weather conditions.
I was freezing!
But we had errands to run and I was already to far from the house to put another layer on.
Chris only had a button up shirt and his pea coat.
I had a two shirts a sweatshirt AND my leather coat on.
He noticed I was cold and I am sure I mentioned it a time or 2.
He willingly gave me his coat
(but not without a fight)
I refused it knowing he would be cold in return.
With his persistence and insistence he place it over my shoulders. I cried! I cried hard!
Right there in the middle of a pathway in Hanau Germany I cried while my unselfish husband held me.
I was so touched he always puts Taimi and I first without any thought or regard of himself.

Tonight after coaching a youth team Chris comes in the house puts a CD into our player comes grabs my hand pulls me up and dances with me (smile)
I have no idea if this song is new or old I am so out of the entertainment loop it was my first time ever hearing it AND I LOVE IT!
But while dancing with Chris, Taimi joined in too course and I just started to cry.
You see over Christmas something happened that made Chris and I make a stronger resolve to be happier more unified more loving more aware and understanding.
So dancing together with lyrics like,

Just know you are not in this thing alone
There's always a place in me that you can call home
Whenever you feel like we're growing apart
Let's just go back to the start
Anything that's worth having
Sure enough is worth fighting for
quitting is out of the question
When it gets tough gotta fight some more
We gotta fight for this love
If it's worth having it's worth fighting for.

made me cry.

I feel so much better letting the tears flow without a fight and being proud of my feelings!
It's liberating!


Anonymous said...

ILove Reading your Blog :-) The Song your Husband Played is Old (2010).Cheryl Cole wrote it in the Time she and her Husband breaking Up and getting divorced.

Lindy said...

I love this too Ash!!!!!!! You're amazing. An amazing mom, wife, and friend.