Tuesday, January 31, 2012

What's Next

(Chris and Taimi SLC airport about to catch our flight to Germany)

More often than I would like I am nearly obsessing over "What's Next?"

A baby?
A new job?
A new country?
A new lifestyle?
A new routine?

Once playoffs are over than what's next?

We take a 16 hour flight home.
Than we hopefully find a place to life, work and play the summer away all the while wondering and wondering after the summer heat wears off what's next?

It's impossible to become complacent in my life. I am always thrust out of my comfort zone. I am constantly making a fool out of myself asking the local Germans questions trying to speak the pathetic amount of German I know. Once I get comfortable in a situtation and place WE MOVE...again.
am I complaining no way I love my life but

What I would give to find rest and security on the soil of my country in my own safe and familiar home for longer than 3 months at a time...maybe one day :)

Since my life is always dramatically changing I have to put forth an incredible amount of energy trying NOT to focus and worry about the next step in our lives, where will we live, a job, how we are going to handle the change, how long we can put Taimi through this lifestyle, when is a "good time" to bring another baby into this world, and a million other concerns.
Instead I fill my heart with this sweet assurance and pure knowledge in Matthew Chapter 6


O ye of little faith?
Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, what shall we drink? or, where with shall we be clothed? for your Heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of these things. But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.

If you have never read that chapter read it, if you have but not in a while read it again
it's excellent.

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Today we went and helped the missionaries with their District Meeting. It's a weekly meeting missionaries go to receiving training and compare ideas thoughts etc.

It felt good!

it was nice to remember what it felt like to be so engrossed in serving the Lord doing it all day every single day. What a great time in their lives. BUT it was even better after the meeting driving home along side my sweetheart hearing my other littler sweetheart singing her lovely precious songs.

I love my life and should never waste my present moments worrying about future ones

it's my goal to not worry about what is next in our lives but rather enjoy what is happening NOW this very second.

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I have come across a few blogs lately that post what they wear every day. These ladies are decked out from head to toe including but not limited to purses, clutches, jewelry, bright and colorful makeup, high heels.

I wonder who are these women who dress like this every single day and what are they so dressed up for?

I really have to go threw my closet because my daily "look at me" photos would not and could not look like theirs.

Am I alone in this??

6 comments:

Chelsea said...

I feel the same way about our lives. It feels like we're constantly moving and worrying about the next job, life changes, etc. However, since you're overseas I'm sure that it's a hundred times tougher. I try not to worry about the future too much and just enjoy every day. It's very tough though and I don't always accomplish this.

{lindy baker cakes} said...

I'm the ultimate worrier and I completely see where you are coming from. I too have to constantly remind myself to enjoy each moment so I don't regret things when I look back later. I love that scripture and need to go read that chapter. You're so strong Ash. Your blog is so uplifting and real. I love it. Thanks for being you and for being such a great friend. I'm sure these are the times you'll look back and smile because they were so CRAZY, yet so fulfilling. Love you so much!

P.S. Don't even get me started on those blogs. Are they serious? Where are they going all the time?

Jessica and Ryan Toolson said...

Oh Ashley you hit it right on the nose. I think about the future every single day. I just try to remember that time passes SO quickly and I don't want to look back at the past and wonder why I wished so much for the future. As for the "outfit" blogs...they look adorable but I don't have the time or energy to get looking that cute! If I were to post pictures of me every single day it would consist of workout outfits or sweats. xoxo

Jonathan and Kiri said...

Ash you are so good. I love how you lay everything out there and so honest and clear with uoursekf and what you're feeling. It's such a beautiful quality! I loved that scripture too so thanks for sharing. It's hard to learn how to "let go" of I guess what we expected our lives would be :) but I think I'm really beginning to love not knowing what happens next and knowing that because our lives are so transient they are also beautifully simple and the perfect foundation for holding onto and focusing on the things that will NEVER change! The world around us can take on a million forms but the world within us, our family, our faith, our God. That'll always be there and I guess holding onto that like you said is what it's all about :) don't worry though, I think this is a lesson we all must learn multiple times in our lives to be happy with where we are and just enjoy the journey!

Ps. I'm sure glad I don't have to photograph my outfits everyday. I'm pretty sure no one would be diggin the sweats and zip ups I live in every other day!!

Sarah Crooks said...

Ashley! I loved what you shared! I look up to you and your family so much! Matt is about to graduate and start his military career. Honestly I think about you a lot. Japan and Germany are possibilities for us. It sounds amazing and difficult! I appreciate so much your faith and willingness to share. And . . .the outfit thing? I guess I must be in the same boat as you. I wonder if those women get much else done that day? I feel like either I can look good or my girls can or my house can. LOL. But have never been able to pull all three off! Hope all is well! Love the Crooks

Sarah Crooks said...

Ashley! I loved what you shared! I look up to you and your family so much! Matt is about to graduate and start his military career. Honestly I think about you a lot. Japan and Germany are possibilities for us. It sounds amazing and difficult! I appreciate so much your faith and willingness to share. And . . .the outfit thing? I guess I must be in the same boat as you. I wonder if those women get much else done that day? I feel like either I can look good or my girls can or my house can. LOL. But have never been able to pull all three off! Hope all is well! Love the Crooks