Saturday, June 2, 2012

(Falling) APART

Up at 5:50am
 I sit atop the bed indian style watching Chris gather his things into one bag.
I am holding back the tears trying to ignore the lump in my throat and pit in my stomach.
 Chris got invited to Ohio a few weeks back for an NBA workout. Things didn't work out on our end and to our excitement he was invited to Chicago a week or so later for another one. 
Chris was injured his Senior year and summer after so he didn't get an opportunity to showcase his talents in front of "the League"
now he does and we are so excited. 
I watched him this morning has he went into Taimi's room to say goodbye. I couldn't help but think about how lucky Taimi is to have such a kind and loving Dad. He got on his knees and kissed her a dozen times.
Oh how I wish I had that with my Dad. 
There is something about saying goodbye to someone that makes me nostalgic
 I usually review the past and wish I had done a few things different. 
Offered more attention. More affection. More time. 
I make promises to myself not to sweat the little stuff and put more time into people and relationships.

I watched Chris get into the car and started to cry more. It's crazy we could be saying goodbye for 1 week or one night no matter the length or the distance I cry
I walked back to our giant bed laid in it and cried a little more. Realizing I couldn't lay in this bed alone I grabbed a pillow and blanket and went into Taimi's room. I smiled as I saw her leg and arm draping and hanging over her little bed. 
I laid there on the ground next to Taimi reflecting my life reflecting my marriage.

It's so great to fall (in love) apart while you are gone!

Good Luck Christopher!

two Promises I made to myself while you are away. 
1. to keep my phone charged and by my side.
2. NOT to watch Law and Order SVU or any detective/murder/scary show or movie


elizabeth kartchner said...

such a beautiful post ash!
you are such an inspiration to me... and I swear I was reading a page from my own life. we are so much alike. I love you sis!

and yes, no scary movies haha!

love you love you!

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